The John Report: Talking Smack for 09/25/09 (Undertaker vs. Punk)
Welcome to the Talking Smack column where I offer up a quick rundown of WWE’s Friday broadcast, Smackdown. I’ll lead off with some ECW first, then jump into Smackdown.
Five Quick Thoughts on ECW from Sept. 22/09
I’m not running down the whole show. I’ll just give my take on five things that I thought about the show.
1. I really enjoyed the Christian/Ryder match. It was very similar to the one they had on ECW a couple months back and I had it rated about the same at ***1/4 out of the usual five stars. I love how on ECW they give matches like that enough time to tell a story. Ryder kept coming, but Christian’s veteran savvy was enough to get him the win.
2. The Abraham Washington Show is usually a miss rather than a hit, but this week it was effective. I don’t mind it as a tool to get over a new feud like they did with Sheamus and Benjamin. It makes me want to see some matches between them. Tony Atlas’ incessant laughing is funny for maybe five seconds, but after that it gets annoying pretty fast.
3. I like the energy that Yoshi Tatsu displays in the ring. The crowd is into him because he’s got great body language and facial expressions. His offense is pretty good too. Does this mean he’s going to get a big push? Nah, I doubt it. He’ll be a midcard babyface that probably loses more than he wins.
4. I’m still waiting to see Ezekiel Jackson in a match that’s more than a basic squash. Now he’s squashing people in tag matches with Kozlov. I guess they want to protect him while he grows into being a more polished performer, but I am hoping we see more of him just because I’m curious.
5. Is another Christian vs. Regal match on the horizon? Looks like it. Won’t be in the cell, though.
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Smackdown from September 25, 2009
Taped from Tulsa, Oklahoma let’s talk some smack…
Hey look, a reminder of the hokey angle where Undertaker kidnaps Teddy Long from last week is shown again to start the show. Great. I really wanted to relive that.
CM Punk came out talking his usual junk (which I love, by the way) and mentioned that he made Undertaker tap out at Breaking Point. He wanted to know who was next, which of course cued up the ominous music with the druids. A casket came out. He took his time in opening it, expecting the Undertaker in there. Instead it was Teddy Long, who was all tied up. Yes folks, we’re supposed to believe that he spent the last week tied up in a casket. Kid friendly! Punk freed Long from his predicament, then was upset with the news that we learned. The Hell’s Gate finisher that the Undertaker uses is no longer banned, the match at Hell in a Cell would be Undertaker vs. Punk in the cell and they would also have a match later in the show. The point is don’t mess with the Undertaker. I hope all the kids that watch this will also tie up the people they don’t like and throw them into a casket for a week. What a role model.
John Morrison & Finlay d. Dolph Ziggler & Mike Knox (*3/4)
Hey, they went to a commercial two minutes in when a guy wasn’t thrown out to the floor! Blasphemy! It threw me off. Okay, not really. It was the typical deal where the heel side was keeping Finlay away from his partner with Ziggler doing an especially great job. I really like that guy more and more every time I see him. His name sucks, but other than that he’s got such a bright future. Morrison got the hot tag and cleaned house on the heels. His offense is very over with the fans. Finlay got a shot on Knox with his shillelagh to set up for Morrison hitting Starship Pain for the pin. I guess Finlay is like Eddie Guerrero was as the cheating babyface. Match was a typical 10 minute tag. Good, but not great or anything.
“Comedy” segment next with Cryme Tyme getting Slam Master J aka Jesse to spray paint Teddy Long’s office without him knowing. He’s not smart, understand? Long was pissed, so he put J in a match.
Kane d. Slam Master J (DUD)
It was shorter than the entrances. They are making it a point to mention that Kane hasn’t been pinned or submitted since coming to Smackdown. In other words, Undertaker vs. Kane on the horizon? Please no.
Punk talked to Vinny Mac backstage trying to get him to overturn Long’s decision to allow the Hell’s Gate. Vince said no, you have to be responsible for your actions. They were teasing that Vince knew about the screwjob all along, but Vince is too scared to admit it.
Vince came out to the ring to insult the crowd and JR (since it was in Oklahoma) before announcing that next week’s Smackdown was the 10th anniversary show. I guess we’ll get clips remembering the history of the show although don’t expect them to put over TNA’s Kurt Angle, who is probably the best Smackdown performer ever. From there, Vince said he had personally signed a “future World Champion” and a “badass” (oh no, not Billy Gunn!) to the show, Drew McIntyre. No pressure, kid. He came out, the crowd immediately booed because he’s Scottish and R-Truth came out rapping his way through the crowd. He learned that way of interrupting people from the streets. They brawled and the officials broke it up. Good way of putting over McIntyre, who can brag about being hand picked by McMahon.
Batista d. Big Show via DQ (*)
See, these guys are smart enough to do the “toss the guy out to the floor” commercial spot. My faith is restored. It was slow and plodding, obviously. It wasn’t that bad. Jericho was outside doing everything he could to distract Batista, which of course led to the DQ finish. That was set up with Batista tripping up show, then busting an ankle lock. Yeah, I’m as stunned as you are. I’m not going to say it looked like the greatest thing. He needs to put his hands in better position because the way he had it wasn’t very menacing. Jericho broke it up, that got the DQ and Batista slapped the ankle lock on Jericho, who quickly tapped. I don’t mind Batista using that. It’s adding to his character. I still hope he turns heel, though.
Time for the weekly Vince/Teddy segments. They again hinted that it was Vince’s idea to screw Undertaker although they never outright said it. Vince wanted to see his picture in the office, so Teddy showed him it. It was of course spray painted by J from earlier in the show. Wow, amazing continuity. Of course this pissed Vince off, so Teddy’s downward spiral continues. Maybe they can book him to have another heart attack.
David Hart Smith d. JTG (*1/4)
They got about three minutes. The chicks were at ringside, they fought a bit and of course the deciding factor was Tyson Kidd hitting JTG with a cheapshot. Smith pinned JTG with a back suplex, similar to Shawn Michaels’ teardrop suplex finisher from about 17 years ago. I thought Smith would bust out his father’s running powerslam as a finisher. Guess not. I’d still like to see more from the Hart Dynasty.
Next week’s main event: John Cena, The Undertaker, Triple H & Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase. They didn’t directly announce it on this show, but that’s what it is. That should be cool. Hopefully they get 20 minutes. I’d be shocked if the babyface side doesn’t win that one.
Batista talked with Josh. My intuition from last week was right. Batista will be teaming up with Rey Mysterio against Jerishow for the tag titles. Works for me. Anything that gives us more Mysterio/Jericho is great.
CM Punk d. The Undertaker via countout (**1/4)
The Undertaker’s entrance felt longer than normal here. Maybe I’ve just forgotten, I don’t know. About a minute in, they did the “guy on the floor” commercial spot. Hey, two out of three matches got it right. That isn’t bad. They worked a really slow pace here, brawling on the floor a bit and setting up big spots like Punk hitting him with a superplex. For a 44 year old guy coming off knee and hip surgeries the Undertaker is pretty nuts to take bumps like that in a TV match. It is an example of him being a pro, though. Neither guy hit any of their really big moves with Punk fighting out of the chokeslam. The finish was set when Taker had him in the Hell’s Gate. Punk made it to the ropes, and then bailed out to the floor. Undertaker followed while the ref counted. He went for the powerbomb through the table, Punk slipped out of that and shoved him away. He slid back in before the ten count while the Undertaker didn’t make it before ten. Punk went up the ramp happily as he got the countout victory.
I liked how it was booked. They didn’t give us too much. The finish will allow Punk to brag about beating the Undertaker twice now while the Undertaker has never beat him. Meanwhile, the announcers can point out that in the Cell you can’t run away like Punk did. My feeling also is that they wanted to do this match because Undertaker’s not working house shows often, so they had to work together again before the Cell match to get a feel for one another.
A plug for the tenth anniversary show next week ended it. Like I said it should be pretty cool.
Three Stars of the Show
1. CM Punk – He’s very easy to hate right now. Doing his job perfectly.
2. Teddy Long – What a trooper.
3. The Undertaker – I’m not sure why. Nobody else really stood out. I can’t give it to Jericho every week!
Rating: 6 (out of 10)
Last week: 4
This was far from the best Smackdown ever, but it wasn’t a bad show at all. They had three matches that had a good amount of time. While none of them were great, they were still good. I liked the opening segment with Punk and Long, the stuff with Vince wasn’t too over the top like those segments usually are and the announcement of Mysterio teaming with Batista against Jerishow has me excited about the tag titles.
The best part of this show was there was no mention of the Dolph/Michelle/Maria/Melina segments over the past couple of weeks. Hopefully this means they’ve just dropped it for being silly. I doubt it, though.
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I’ll be back on Tuesday for the Raw Deal. If you’re a NFL fan check out my weekly picks column at the Sports Oratory located right here. Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend.
Smell ya later,
John Canton – oratoryjohn@gmail.com
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