The Big Takeaway: Swagger and Henry squashed The Ascension while, in the main event, Stardust and Zack Ryder were given time and had a pretty good 11-minute match.
*****
Mark Henry & Jack Swagger beat The Ascension (4:19)
When I first saw Swagger and Henry tag together I said that it made sense in many ways – given their backgrounds, you could kind of see how they might end up together. On this show, what made zero sense, however, was when they both came out on the ramp and inexplicably both planted their arm across their chest and chanted ‘we the people’. When Zeb disappeared, this ought to have as well. With Swagger as a babyface and the xenophobic gimmick done with, what does it even mean?
Henry and Viktor start things off. Henry immediately just launches him across the ring. Realizing he’s outsized, Viktor goes straight over to his corner to tag Konnor in. Henry gets overpowered and takes a big boot from Konnor and Viktor tags back in to try to steal the early win, but Henry kicks out at one. Henry is then dumped over the top rope and they work him over, sending him shoulder-first into the post. They roll him back in and after the posting and a leg drop by Konnor, Henry still insists on kicking out at one. So good.
Henry gets up and hits a big clothesline on Konnor and both men go down. They eventually crawl over and make tags, with Swagger getting the heat. He comes in with clotheslines to the corners and a Swagger Bomb that actually connects first time. He goes for the cover but Konnor drags Swagger out of the ring, mid-count.
Henry runs round and posts Konnor, but Viktor works over Swagger with knees and then rolls him back in. Viktor goes for something lofty, but Swagger catches him in the Patriot Lock and Viktor has no choice but to tap.
Stardust beat Zack Ryder (11:19)
I’m always so impressed by Zack Ryder’s physique; he just looks in great shape right now. His run on NXT as a tag team may be his last hurrah in the company, but he’s always good on this show, no question. He and Stardust exchange hammer locks and then Stardust cartwheels out the way and lays down to strike a pose. This angers Ryder and so Stardust bails outside.
Light ‘Cody’ chants start up as Stardust cowers in the ropes to avoid the approaching Ryder. They lock up again and this time Stardust shoulder tackles Ryder to the mat and the he drops down on to his back to deliver his slap. A sweet drop kick by Ryder and a kick out at one is then followed by a really quick exchange of hip tosses and arm drags from the pair. Stardust ends up on the apron, shoulders Ryder to the gut, comes back in on a springboard to nothing and then Ryder catches him with a flapjack. Stardust is then dumped and Ryder hits him with a missile drop kick through the ropes but then Stardust dumps Ryder and we head to a break.
Stardust stomps all over Ryder as we return. He nails him with knees to the back and then hits him with a clothesline for two. Stardust starts to work over the shoulders and neck until Ryder gets out of the hold with a jaw buster. They then both go for a cross body and collide in a heap in the middle of the ring.
Ryder gets up first and hits Cody with a flying lariat followed by a second rope, missile drop kick. The Broski Boot is scouted, but Ryder gets him anyway through the ropes with a punt to the head. He rolls Stardust back in and springboard splashes him for two. Stardust gets up and goes for a suplex but Ryder reverses it into a neckbreaker for two. Ryder then goes up to the top rope and nails Rhodes with a headscissors takedown again for two. Stardust manages to whip Ryder off the ropes and puts him in the Queens Cross-Bow for the win.