Ronald McDonald Steps Out Of the Public Eye Amid Clown Terror 

2016 is starting to look like the year the Western world decided to lose its collective mind. Amidst the wacky politics, terrorism, and Russian hackers, America has been besieged by clowns. Back in August, a group of clowns tried to lure children into the woods in South Carolina, and ever since, creepy clown sightings have spread across the nation. While most clowns are harmless pranksters, last week, a man in Colorado Springs was attacked by a whiskey bottle-wielding man in a clown mask. Given America’s current unease with clown culture, one fast-food icon has decided to hang up his red wig for the time being: Ronald McDonald.

Yesterday, McDonald’s released a statement saying that its “franchisees in local markets are mindful of the current climate around clown sightings in communities and as such are being thoughtful with respect to Ronald McDonald’s participation in community events for the time being. This does not mean that there will be no appearances by Ronald McDonald, but that we are being thoughtful as to Ronald McDonald’s participation in various community events at this time.” There’s no word on how long McDonald will be out of the public eye, so for the time being, McDonald’s will have to rely on cheap toys and trans fats to keep the kiddies coming back.